i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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