brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
