LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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