Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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