dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
