I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
