BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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