We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I smell stomach acid.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
