If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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