Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
