when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
