that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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