It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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