That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
