New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
