3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
wow bdsm is so cute
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
