i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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