South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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