still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize