What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
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