Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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