Four minutes until I can fart!
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize