Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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