I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
