I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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