Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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