the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
