just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
