why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
