I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Randomize
