Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Randomize