I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Randomize
