Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Randomize
