My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
