At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize