she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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