My Higher Power is John Stamos
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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