i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
