Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I have tasted many bathrooms
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
