You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
