I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Randomize
