Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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