This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
