Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
