so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
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