Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
