totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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