The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
only you would photoshop your dick
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
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