Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Can you repeat that, but with context?
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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