Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
