I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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