I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
