maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
