Sober January is a disaster.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I intend to get homeless drunk
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
