love makes seman taste better
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
