She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
