We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
home. puking in laundry basket.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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