somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
where are you?
Hypothermia
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
