You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
We left the knife in your bed.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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