You smell like stripper and shame
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
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