A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
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