"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
