We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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