Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Randomize
