PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
