Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Maybe he injected his testicle?
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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