Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
