i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
