I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
