I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
