Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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